Archive for the ‘Humor’ tag
Toying with women’s pleasure isn’t funny
Photo credit: V-Day Press Room
Whatever you think of “The Vagina Monologues,” one thing is certain: Dramatic performances of female orgasms rarely occur in any context, including porn.
During the production on Friday, I sat in both amusement and discomfort, watching 11 women perform the monologues, based on stories from women interviewed by the author. The most notable part was their repeated and enthusiastic performances of female orgasms, and the various circumstances surrounding that end. Details are, perhaps, unnecessary, but suffice it to say, there were screams involved.
After I watched, I wondered: Why was I so discomforted? Why did watching these imitations of young women having a good time seem so awkward for me?
Aside from the context - certainly most people watching such a performance aren’t doing so in a theater crowded with a couple hundred other observers - the uneasiness was a direct result of the fact that instances of women’s sexual fulfillment are surprisingly sparse in such a sex-obsessed society.
Despite improved cultural attitudes toward female sexual pleasure, instances of discomfort and hostility toward a woman actually enjoying herself are abound. An example is in Texas, where a 35-year-old statute that banned the sale or promotion of sex toys was finally struck down by a federal appeals court this Valentine’s Day.
It’s now legal to be a masturbating woman in Texas - though not in Mississippi, Alabama or Virginia, which have similar “obscenity” laws applying to sex toys, or, as some lawmakers condescendingly refer to them, “marital aids.”
This is despite the notably obvious point that people purchasing vibrators are not likely to be using them in the context of aiding their marriage. They may, in fact, be avoiding marriage entirely, hence the need for a vibrator. Part of the statute in Texas also made the possession of six or more sex toys a felony, as such possession is presumed to accompany intent to sell. Sex toys, you know, are very comparable to drugs. Orgasms can be addictive, thereby destroying marriages upon which the whole foundation of American society rests.
Kidding. Perhaps it’s better to hope that the foundation of American society doesn’t rest on the stability of marriage.
We tend to be disquieted by things we aren’t used to. Images of women enjoying and actively seeking sex just aren’t part of mainstream society, certainly not to the same extent that a man’s enjoyment and pursuit are known. The common perception is that women don’t like sex, so situations that portray their enjoyment tend to be overblown and unrealistic, creating over-the-top portrayals of women who are just “weird.” They are viewed as anomalies and jokes. Women enjoying sex and sexuality is, apparently, so weird that when it does happen, it’s hilarious.
Pause for a moment and think. Picture a TV show or movie in which the punch line of the joke is that - get this - it’s actually the woman who wants sex! Ha! So much that the woman tackles the male character, perhaps in the middle of a crowd of astonished onlookers. Women’s uproarious desperation for sex can even be a major plot device in situation comedies, so divinely unusual that it’s just the right anomaly to wrap up the conflict.
It’s pathetic, really. Women’s enjoyment of sex shouldn’t be so rare as to be the butt of a joke, nor should it be devalued by attempts to lawfully prohibit female sex toys.
Guys, if the whole “desperate-for-pleasure woman performs hilarious full-body tackle in attempt to get a guy to help her out” thing is such a recurring theme, it means most of you aren’t doing your job. Personally, I would be insulted by the insinuation that so many of you are so incredibly bad at something supposedly tied to your “man creds.”
But don’t fret. You have the power to change that perception of incompetence. Take this as a personal challenge: Get your significant other to be so enthusiastic about the idea of having sex with you that she practically attacks you in public. You’ll be happy, she’ll be happy and it’ll make onlookers laugh in amusement.
Read the original column online here.
